I remember when one of my daughter's was around five years old. She looked at me and said she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. I was so happy to hear her say those words. I knew what I needed to do to help her fulfilled her dreams. However, that fairytale never came true because one of her lovely teacher cast a dark shadow over my daughter's head and told her "if you become a doctor then everyone will die!" My daughter never told me what that teacher said until years later for the fear of what I may have done. In the book of The Art of Possibility it talked about a child is an exquisite attention-getting device. (p. 82). A child relies on strong leadership to help children to discover who they are and achieve their goals. However, when that leaders or role models shatter a child’s dreams it affects them. In adulthood, unless the child has a strong will, they grow up not fulfilling their goals and live their life in a box. I like the Rule Number 6 “Don’t take yourself so seriously” because I spent most of my life trying to fit in or live my life to someone else expectation. During my undergraduate days I tried to be an overachiever and constantly let myself down. I had to do a calculating self and ask myself “Why am I not aiming for my goal and what can I do to change this problem?” Once I stop taking life so seriously that’s when I was able to aim for my goal without stressing myself out. I changed the way I thought of myself from the scarfs of my childhood life and realizing only I control my path.
Oh Angela, I cringed when I read this. As a teacher, I'm amazed at how much "power" our words have! Most of the time I don't think my students listen to me, but then there are a few things that they bring back a few days, weeks, months later! They were listening! Far too often, we (I) forget that students DO listen! What a sad day it is when a teacher dismisses the dreams of his/her student(s). Maybe this is where Zander mentioned the "giving an A" would change the perception the teacher had of his/her student (your daughter). It saddens me to think of what could have been if (ONLY IF) the teacher had given your daughter and A that day!
ReplyDeleteZander also asked, "Who am I being that my "people's" eyes aren't shining?" Your daughter's eyes were not shining that day!
I just pray that your daughter has worked through that devastation and can follow her dream (original or new).
I like the Rule Number 6 “Don’t take yourself so seriously” because I spent most of my life trying to fit in or live my life to someone else expectation. During my undergraduate days I tried to be an overachiever and constantly let myself down. I had to do a calculating self and ask myself “Why am I not aiming for my goal and what can I do to change this problem?” Once I stop taking life so seriously that’s when I was able to aim for my goal without stressing myself out. I changed the way I thought of myself from the scarfs of my childhood life and realizing only I control my path.
The effects of unnecessary or even hurtful comments can be devastating to ones dreams and hopes. It is how we respond that makes the difference. Sometimes we need advice or motivation from the right person to see our potential or show us our path. The authors provided a great message in Chapter 8 that can help greatly... notice where you are holding back, and let go. It is a shame your daughter had to hear such a negative comment. But it is never too late.
ReplyDeleteI spend 40+ hours a week trying to undo in adults the scars of what mindless comments do to people. I hate hearing stories that the one about your daughter. Whats the saying...."That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Its just a shame that we have to go back and reteach ourselves how to not believe that stuff. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you daughter had a teacher who did not understand the power of words. Teachers need to realize that they are there to empower and uplift children and not stifle them for aiming high. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOh Angela!! I am so sorry that happened to your daughter. She had good reason to be afraid of what you would have done, because as an about to be mom, I had a few words for her “instructor”. Children believe…and I hate that we lose that boldness somewhere along the way. Their dreams are crystal clear in their mind and without a measured path most of the time. They are just worried about being what it is they said they would be. I believe had I taken more of that path of thought that I would not feel like I too spent my life trying to fit and be accepted and acceptable at all times. Even after doing things with the measurement in mind, I feel empty. Rule number 6 is my husband’s motto when it comes to my quest for an improved quality of life and a better me. I know my problem…time to overcome, without stressing myself out ☺
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